Friday, April 09, 2010

Memo to ET

Just in case you bought The Star newspaper last Thursday but you didn't read this article at Lifestyle column.

I don't mean to copy everything. Lets make it short.

A competition to discover what messages Earthlings want to send to aliens has produced some illuminating results.

Over the years, there have been many explanations for why alien life forms - if they exist - have failed to make contact with the Earth. But after extensive research, Britain's The Daily Telegraph can unveil the real reason: they have far too much good sense.

In February, the Telegraph helped launch a competition to find the best messages to be sent hurtling into space, in order to mark the 50th anniversary of the Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence (SETI) programme and the publication of The Eerie Silence: Are We Alone In The Universe?, a new book by the astrophysicist, Paul Davies.

We were vaguely expecting the entries to be uplifting and spiritual - messages of interstellar peace and love, that sort of thing. But how wrong we were! Almost 1,000 suggestions came flooding in from all over the blobe, but they painted a picture of a planet that is such miserable place to be that you wouldn't blame ET for legging it back to his distant star.

FOR WHAT WOULD HE LEARN ABOUT MANKIND? FIRST, THAT WE ARE VICIOUS CREATURES WHO HAVE ALREADY DONE A GREAT JOB OF WRECKING OUR HOME

"Please kill us now.. have no mercy. We are evil and you must defend yourself" ~ a man from Indiana

"Keep away from this planet. Mankind is only intent on depleting, abusing and destroying(it). They will do the same to yours should they find it. Mankind is the worst virus in the universe. You have been warned" ~ Pamela from Sicily

"If you manage to work out how to travel to us, don't bother, as we'll probably probe you, try to blow you up or worse still, steal your technology and invade.. have a nice day" ~ Nick from Calne

"Dearest Aliens, If you choose to conquer Earth, please do not kill or enslave those of us who can name all 12 men to have walked on the Moon. We are the ones worth keeping ground" ~ Rob from Georgia

"If you're planning to visit our planet, please know you will need to remove all metal from your person, take your shoess off and submit to a full body scan, carry all liquids/gels/aerosols in clear plastic bottles no bigger than 3.4oz, surrender all cigarette lighters and batteries, pack all jams and jellies (but pies can be carried on).. Oh, yes. Welcome to the Earth!" ~ Seema from Elgin

"Sorry to drop this on you, but we've kinda wrecked our planet. Any chance we could come live with you? We've got beer" ~ Gary from Dagenham

"Whatever our governments may have done on behalf of human beings, we common humans deeply apologise" ~ Joshua from California

"Whatever you do, stay away from Washington DC. No intelligent life there" ~ Richard from Texas

"For sale or trade. Several billion tonnes of carbon dioxide. All reasonable offers considered! Must pick up, cannot ship" ~ Andrew from Alberta

"My purpose of contacting you is to seek your help in transferring the sum of five million United States dollars to a trusted bank on your planet" ~ Thomas from Abu Dhabi

"Do you have crop circles on your planet?" ~ Kelvin from Telford

"Kindly stop tagging our planet with cryptic crop designs. Interplanetary graffiti is not the best introduction, so please express yourself with a bit more decorum and less like a disgruntled teenager wielding a spray can" ~ Michael from West Sussex

Funny and at the same time, make you think what you've done to this planet. Something that you might not thinking about it before.

2 scribble(s):

MarDiah said...

we've been destroying our planet without realising it.

contoh paling mudah ketamakan melampau nelayan menggunakan pukat sorong di sungai2 menghapuskan spesis2 untuk jangka masa panjang.

Liz Rohaizat said...

mardiah> ni mesti tgk 999 mlm td eh? kesian kan tgk anak2 ikan tu mati

 

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