Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Enjoy the sweetness of knowing that to your child, you're number one.

Ruang lingkup hidup Batrisyia hanyalah rumah dia dan nursery. Jadi, dia hanya ngam dgn hubby, aku dan pengasuh dia. Walaupun nursery tu ada ramai cikgu, dia hanya mahukan cikgu dia sahaja. Dia kenal cikgu tu sejak umur satu setengah bulan. Kalau cikgu lain yg sambut dia, dia akan menangis.

Masa kecil, dia tak la mcm nie sgt. Cuma bila dah mula masuk fasa 'separation anxiety', mmg mencabar sikit bila nak handle dia. Pantang tak nampak kitorang, dia akan mula menangis sambil cari kitorang merata tempat. Bila org lain dukung dia, dia menangis kuat. Pendek kata, dia mmg taknak kat orang.



Batrisyia ni bkn taknak kat orang. Dia taknak kat org yg dia tak kenal. Bagus la kan. Tak la senang anak aku nak kena culik. Kalau dia hilang kat Tesco pun, aku boleh cari dia sbb jeritan dia dah cukup kuat (Ni pernah terjadi. Aku tak jumpa husband dgn anak aku kat dlm Tesco tp aku berjaya cari diorg sbb anak aku tegur semua org dan semua benda dan membebel dgn kuatnya).

Dgn tokwan dan nekwan dia pun dia taknak. Setakat senyum-senyum, main cak-cak tu boleh la. Tapi bila nak dukung, dia lari. Dia ambil masa 3-4 hari utk duduk dgn parents aku sebelum betul-betul ngam nak main bersama dgn tokwan nekwan dia.


Bila dia dah ngam dgn org, baru la dia tak kesah nak main.. nak kena tinggal. Sgt comel bila tgk reaksi dia nampak kitorang lps kena tinggal seketika. Muka mcm lega gila sambil nak marah.

Utk yg malas nak gi baca kat Baby Center, aku copy paste kat sini. For more info, do visit the link above.

Do all babies experience separation anxiety?

Yes, to a degree. At certain stages, most babies or toddlers will show true anxiety and be upset at the prospect — or reality — of being separated from a parent. If you think about separation anxiety in evolutionary terms, it makes sense: A defenseless baby would naturally get upset at being separated from the person who protects and cares for him. In many ways, attitudes about babies and separations are cultural. Western countries tend to stress autonomy from a very early age. But in many other cultures, infants are rarely separated from their mother in the first year of life.Regardless of the origins of this normal developmental stage, it's frustrating for babies and parents. The good news is that separation anxiety will pass and there are ways to make it more manageable. And in the meantime, enjoy the sweetness of knowing that to your child, you're number one.

When does it most commonly occur?

Babies can show signs of separation anxiety as early as 6 or 7 months, but the crisis age for most babies is between 12 to 18 months. Most commonly, separation anxiety strikes when you or your spouse leaves your child to go to work or run an errand. Babies can also experience separation anxiety at night, safely tucked in their cribs with Mom and Dad in the next room.

How can I help my baby through it?

Several options are available to parents:

Option I

Minimize separations as much as possible and take your baby along if he seems to feel anxious. With this option, you're basically waiting for your baby to outgrow this stage.

Option II

If you have to leave your baby — for example, to return to work — try leaving him with people who are familiar, like his father, grandmother, or aunt. Your baby may still protest, but he might adjust more easily to your absence when surrounded by well-known faces.

Option III

If you need to leave your child with someone he doesn't know, give him a chance to get to know his caregiver while you're still around.

Sekadar nak tanya pendapat korang, apa yg perlu aku buat? I mean, org kata aku manjakan anak sgt sbb x suka biarkan dia menangis sorang-sorang. Sometimes, that comment hurts my feeling. Mcm aku ni over pulak. Bkn la anak aku baru nangis, aku terus angkat. Kalau anak dah meraung sampai air mata meleleh-leleh, suara nak pecah, tak perlu angkat ke? Anak korang mengalami separation anxiety tak?

7 scribble(s):

sya_firwan said...

Qistina sampai skrg pon kalau kena tinggal sekejap pon nangis..pergi tandas pon kena bawak...:) Iffah dlu mcm tuh jugak..yup, sya stuju..sekurang2nye anak kite lebih selamat..InsyaAllah dia tak kan pergi kat strangers..
*teringat iffah..kalau papa dia ilang ngan qistina kat shopping mall..dia akan menjerit "oh papa..where are you..:)"

Mama-Miya a.k.a Jedi Hopeful said...

dulu bukan miya yg seperation anxiety..mama dia yg kena anxiety tu..kikiki..tp now dia lak yg slalu ngada2 seperation anxiety. kalau subuh tu i bgn nak solat, dia boleh sedar & the minute i tutup pintu bilik air she will cry.

imee said...

tenkiu la buat post ni liz. aafiyah lately dah cam muka org. kalo org tu dah lama tak jumpa (contohnya parents akeh) dia kurang nak kat org tu. bila org tu pegang, dia akan tenung kejap, pastu mulut dia u-turn ke bawah pastu dia akan cry kuat2. sampai la aku dtg amek dia. and ada la suara2 sumbang dok ckp aku manjakan dia sgt etc2.

walopun aku kadang2 stress dgn statement2 yg ckp aku manjakan anak, at least aku takkan rasa sedih bila tgk anak sendiri menangis bila aku dukung dan hanya boleh dipujuk oleh nenek/caretaker dia. selfish, yes. tapi tajuk post ko tu aku sgt setuju.

Ely Hasrul said...

haaa skang mmg pantang la kalu org ckp aku manjakan anak sgt. aku sorg aje bleh ckp sami manja hahahah. sami skang dh beso sket bile jumpa kawan2 mami papi dia dh bese la xnangis, blk kampung pon sonok walaupon sebulan sekalik baru jumpa. kire dia xdek le teruk sgt nk nangis2 tapi balik umah nenek papi dia tetap nangis.. ahhaha apekah maknenye itu..

maisy said...

Dina tak gitu..dr kecik mmg senang je nak tinggal ngan sape2..dah besar cam skarang die tak suke kene tinggal dah,sebab die dah besar,dah reti...kene bagi batrisyia campur ngan org2 dewasa ramai ckit kot..tp pelik gak apesal ngan cikgu lain die tnk....

Baby type ni..die rase secure ngan mak die je...susah jugak sebenarnya..rasenye cikgu lain tak layan die cam cikgu yg dedicated jage die,tu yg die tnk...

Dina mungkin sebab penjaga die,ade anak yg sekolah..ramai..dlm 4 org..duk main skali ..tu yg terbiasa org ramai...ala biar je la...nanti besar retila kot....tp nanti sian atuk and nenek die nak main ngan baby...

same case ngan anak sedare aku laa ni..mak die nak mkn pon tak bleh..last2 kene marah free ngan mak die...tu pon kene marah sebyk 40 kali ngan mak die..tp still nak kat mak die je...same age ngan batrisyia...tp nih atuk and nenek seblah mak die manjakan sgt....

Ko selalukan die bermain ngan kezen die..nanti biase la ckit org ramai...

Liz said...

sya> so far xde bwk batrisyia gi tandas sbb abi dia ada. hehe.. tp mmg betul, dia takkan pegi kat strangers.. umpan dgn coklat ke.. mainan ke.. dia x mkn dek umpan. bagus3.

mama miya> hehe.. mama biasanya kena anxiety masa awal2 lps abes pantang kan? xtau la ur case camne pulak.

imee> aku xde nak amek pusing sgt org ckp tp sometimes terfikir, salah ke apa yg aku buat? camtu la perasaan aku. ala, anak kita ni.. awal2 je nak berkepit. dah besar nanti, mau nak mengikut kita je? jgn harap la kan. so layan aje la.

ely> aik, sami leh pilih tmpt nak nangis eh? sami dah besar, psl tu dah reti nak mingle dgn org lain kan? harapnya batrisyia pun camtu la nnt

maisya> dia x jumpa org dewasa yg lain. dia bkn xnak tau. awal2 mmg dia akan nangis tp bila org tu bwk dia jalan, dia senyap la. but so far, dia kureng nak dgn adik2 hubby aku. xtau nape. kalau adik aku ambik dia, ok je. aura ke?

cikgu2 lain dikira stranger la. sbb nursery nie, satu cikgu jaga satu kumpulan. dan cikgu lain takkan kacau anak2 murid. faham? so dia kenal satu cikgu je. yg lain tu mcm stranger la kiranya.

bab main dgn atok nenek tu, dia nak main tp dia takleh dipegang. ala2 jinak-jinak merpati. YOU CAN SEE BUT YOU CANNOT TOUCH ME. haha.. dia boleh je gelak2, main cak-cak, main kejar-kejar. cuma tu, ambil masa nak mesra sampai leh dipegang2.

dgn cousins, mmg dia main. dia x kesah. dia kesah dgn org dewasa je.

MarDiah said...

org tua dulu pantang biarkan anak nangis sorang2... x slh rasanya... dia perlukan kita.. suatu hari nanti kita akan rindukannya bila dia dah kena keluar utk dijaga "org lain" pulak

 

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