Friday, June 19, 2009

Sleep Method : Ferber vs Sears

Pada umur 8 bulan, Batrisyia masih lagi bgn malam. At first, mcm jealous pulak bila org lain bercerita ttg anak-anak mereka yg tak bgn malam langsung. Aku masa berpantang dulu, sampai tak dpt tido sbb anak aku berjaga dan hanya akan tidur bila aku pangku dia. Kalau org lain, boleh tido nyenyak sampai pagi, aku pulak pasti akan bgn 3-4 kali utk menyusukan Batrisyia.

Ketika usia 6 bulan, kebanyakan bayi akan tidur dlm 11 ½ ke 15 jam sehari dan berupaya utk tidur dalam jangka masa yang lama.

Pada usia 6 ke 9 bulan, kebanyakan bayi akan tidur 2 kali di waktu siang (pagi dan petang). Walau bagaimana pun, anda tidak perlu risau jika bayi anda masih tidur 3 kali di waktu siang. Yang penting, dia stick to the routine.

Jika bayi anda masih belum ada sleep pattern, skrg ialah masa yang sgt sesuai utk train bayi anda. Mengajar bayi utk tidur adalah penting agar bayi anda senang ditidurkan dan dpt tidur dlm jangka masa yg lama.

Pada awal-awal kelahiran, bayi anda mungkin merupakan seorang great sleepers.. tak bgn mlm.. boleh tido sampai pagi. But tiba-tiba dia susah nak tidur bila usianya mencecah 6 ke 12 bln. Kenapa?

Kdg-kala ia berlaku seiring dgn perkembangan dirinya sendiri. Mungkin bayi anda sedang belajar duduk, merangkak ataupun berjalan. Dia terlalu teruja utk berlatih semua itu. Sampaikan masa tidur pun dia nak berlatih. Pernah berlaku? Batrisyia sedang belajar utk merangkak. Baru-baru nie aku dpt tgk dia cuba berlatih merangkak ketika dia sedang tidur.

Sometimes, bayi anda terjaga and menangis sbb dia tak nampak anda. Masa ni, mungkin dia sedang mengalami separation anxiety. So bila anda tak berada di depan mata dia, dia rasa insecure dan menangis. Bila anda pergi kat dia, baru la dia berenti menangis.

Ni antara tips-tips yg boleh dicuba:

Develop and follow a bedtime routine.
If you haven't already established some sort of bedtime ritual, start now. A bedtime routine should help your child wind down and get ready for sleep, and at this stage your child will really begin to participate.Whether your routine includes giving your baby a bath, playing a quiet game, getting your child ready for bed, reading a bedtime story or two, or singing a lullaby, make sure you do it in the same order and at the same time every night. Babies like having routines and schedules they can count on.

Keep your child on a consistent schedule.
You'll both benefit from having a daily schedule that includes set times for bed and naps. That doesn't mean your baby has to eat lunch at exactly 12:15 every day, but it does mean you should try to stick to a fairly predictable schedule. If your baby naps, eats, plays, and gets ready for bed at about the same time every day, he'll be much more likely to fall asleep easily.

Encourage your child to fall asleep on his own.
To nap well and sleep through the night at this age, your baby has to learn to fall asleep on his own. Try putting him down before he nods off, so he can practice. If he cries, the next move is up to you. Do wait at least a few minutes to see if he's really upset or just fussing a little before settling down.

Try putting him to bed earlier.
If your baby's used to going to sleep after 8:30 p.m. and suddenly begins to wake up during the night, try making his bedtime a half-hour earlier. Surprisingly, you may find he's much more likely to sleep through the night.

Practice getting "unstuck."
Children who are learning to sit or stand up may practice their new skills at night in their crib and get stuck in an upright position once they're sitting or standing up. If this is happening to your baby, you'll need to teach him how to lie back down.Take a week or two to help him practice getting "unstuck," not necessarily in his crib but wherever you're spending time together. Make it a game — sit him up and then lay him down. Do the same with standing, helping your baby sit down at first and then encouraging him to do it on his own.


What exactly is the Ferber method?

“In a nutshell, Ferber says you can teach your baby to soothe himself to sleep when he's physically and emotionally ready, usually sometime between 4 and 6 months of age. He recommends following a warm, loving bedtime routine and then putting your baby in bed awake and leaving him (even if he cries) for gradually longer periods of time. Putting a child to bed awake, says Ferber, is crucial to successfully teaching him to go to sleep on his own.

Parents are instructed to pat and comfort their baby after each predetermined period of time, but not to pick up or feed their baby. This routine is called "progressive waiting." The suggested waiting time, which Ferber charts in his book, is based on how comfortable you are with the technique, how many days you've been using it, and how many times you've already checked on your child that night.

After a few days to a week of gradually increasing the waiting time, the theory goes, most babies learn to fall asleep on their own, having discovered that crying earns nothing more than a brief check from you.”

Kebanyakan paed dan experts menganggap method ni tidak sesuai utk bayi sbb bayi akan hilang rasa selamat. Kaedah ni kelihatan agak kejam kerana membiarkan anak menangis bersendirian hingga tertidur sendiri. Dlm usia ni, bayi bergantung pada ibu bapanya. Mereka rasa selamat bila berada di samping ibu bapanya. Kalau dia lihat ibu bapa dia sendiri seperti tidak ambil peduli dgn membiarkan dia menangis seorang diri, sedikit sebanyak akan mengganggu emosi bayi tersebut.

What is Sears method?

“Generally speaking, those who favor a no-tears approach over CIO methods consider leaving a child alone and crying to be unnatural, unkind, and a betrayal of the trust your baby is developing in adults and the world around him. The idea is that bedtime offers an opportunity to connect with your child by developing quiet, cozy nighttime rituals and by quickly responding to your baby's requests for food and comfort.

Pediatrician and "attachment parenting" advocate William Sears devotes an entire chapter of The Baby Sleep Book to a critique of CIO approaches. Sears, along with no-tears advocates such as Elizabeth Pantley (author of The No-Cry Sleep Solution), believes that CIO techniques can give your child negative associations with bedtime and sleep that could last a lifetime.

Sleep experts who support the CIO approach disagree. They say it isn't traumatic for babies to cry alone for short periods of time with frequent check-ins by Mom or Dad — and the end result is a well-rested, happier child. They say no-tears sleep strategies may cause babies to be overly dependent on comfort from a parent at bedtime, making it harder for them to learn to soothe themselves to sleep.

A number of people who deal with sleep issues professionally have written books in favor of no-tears methods. Pediatrician William Sears, parent educator Elizabeth Pantley, and registered nurse Tracy Hogg are three of the most well known experts.

Here's a quick guide to those three. To learn more, look for their books or find out more about their methods online by following the links below.

Pediatrician William Sears and family: The Baby Sleep Book (Sears website)
Sears emphasizes a nurturing, child-centered approach to sleep and warns parents to be wary of one-size-fits-all sleep training. He recommends patiently helping your baby learn to sleep in his own time. He encourages co-sleeping, rocking and nursing your baby to sleep, and other forms of physical closeness to create positive sleep associations now and healthy sleep habits down the road.

Parent educator Elizabeth Pantley: The No-Cry Sleep Solution (Pantley website)
Pantley offers a gentle and gradual approach to all aspects of sleep, customized to your baby's needs. She recommends rocking and feeding your baby to the point of drowsiness before putting him down — and responding immediately if he cries. Parents are urged to keep sleep logs, nap logs, and night-waking logs. Pantley also describes a six-phase process for teaching a child to sleep in a crib.

Registered nurse Tracy Hogg: Secrets of the Baby Whisperer (Hogg website)
Hogg agrees with Sears that sleep associations should be positive but disagrees with his techniques. She cautions against letting your baby depend on "props" such as nursing, patting, and rocking to get to sleep. Instead, Hogg recommends that you go to your baby when he cries, picking him up and putting him back down as many times as necessary. She considers her techniques a middle ground between attachment parenting (such as Sears) and CIO techniques (such as the progressive waiting approach popularized by sleep specialist Richard Ferber).


Encourage your baby to get plenty to eat during the day. He'll learn that daytime is for eating and nights are for sleeping. And he'll be less likely to wake up hungry in the wee hours.

Establish a regular nap schedule. A consistent sleep routine during the daytime helps regulate nighttime sleep.

Put your baby to bed on the early side, such as 6:30 or 7. Don't fall into the trap of keeping your baby awake so he'll be more tired. An overtired baby may actually have a harder time getting to sleep. Some experts say babies who go to bed earlier sleep longer, too.

Make changes slowly. If your baby's on a later schedule, don't suddenly move bedtime from, say, 9:30 to 7 o'clock. Make bedtime a little earlier each night until you reach the time that seems best for your baby.

Find a soothing bedtime routine and stick to it. For example, a bath, then a book, then a lullaby, then bed, at the same time every night.

Develop some "key sounds," as Pantley calls them, to signal to your child that it's time for sleep. A sound could be a simple "ssshhhh" or a softly spoken phrase like "It's sleepy time." Repeat the sound or phrase when you're soothing your child to sleep or back to sleep so he'll associate it with bedtime.

Create a comfortable sleep environment that's tailored to your child. Some babies need more quiet and darkness than others. Recordings of soft music or nature sounds or the sound of a gurgling aquarium can be soothing. Make sure the sheets are cozy (warm them with a hot water bottle or a microwavable heating pad, for example, before laying your baby down) and that sleepwear doesn't chafe or bind. Younger babies may sleep better when swaddled. Don't overdress your child or overheat the room.

Don't respond to every noise your child makes. Learn to distinguish a real cry from a sleepy whimper. If you're not sure, it's okay to wait for a minute outside the door so you won't disturb him if he's actually asleep.

Does "no cry" work?
We can't say it often enough: No single sleep strategy is effective with every baby — or even for one baby all the time. You'll have to get to know your child, be flexible, and figure out what works for you.No-tears advocates admit that the approach can take a while — longer, in all likelihood, than CIO techniques — but they say that in the long run it's less traumatic for baby and parents alike.Elizabeth Pantley writes that when it comes to sleep training, parents have a choice between time and tears: "The irrefutable truth is that we cannot change a comfortable, loving-to-sleep (but waking-up-all-night) history to a go-to-sleep-and-stay-asleep-on-your-own routine without one of two things: crying or time. Personally, I choose time."


For me, aku perlu set masa utk Batrisyia tidur. Dari awal, aku merasakan ia penting utk mengelakkan Batrisyia tidur ikut suka hati dia je. Kalau tak ajar dia tidur, gerenti dia tidur lambat. Aku belajar dari pengalaman org lain. Ada org biarkan anak dia nak tidur pukul berapa yg diorg suka. Sudahnya, anak dia tidur pukul 11 malam. Bagi aku, perkara ni tidak bagus utk perkembangan anak-anak.

Sebab tu aku cuba set masa tidur Batrisyia. Masa dia bwh 6 bulan, aku pastikan dia tidur pada pukul 8 malam. Tak susah sbb dia kecil lagi. Dia suka tidur je. MIL sampai selalu tanya, “Mana Humaira? Dah tidur?”. Susah dia nak jumpa cucu dia. Masa Batrisyia dah nak 5 bulan, agak susah sikit sbb dia busy body nak belajar mcm2 perkara di sekeliling dia. Masa ni, paling lewat dia akan tidur pukul 10.30 malam.

Sejak dah duduk di rumah sendiri, aku dpt kawal masa aku sendiri. Malah, aku dpt kawal masa Batrisyia. Selalunya kami akan sampai di rumah pada pukul 7 malam. Ni kalau tak berlama kat rumah MIL. Sementara aku masak, hubby akan main dgn Batrisyia. Lepas hubby solat Maghrib, hubby akan suapkan Batrisyia makan. Aku akan siap masak selepas 1 jam atau 1 jam setengah. Ye la, nak berhenti solat kejap. Bila aku dah siap masak, tgk keadaan Batrisyia dulu. Kalau dia nak susu, aku susukan dia. Kalau tak, kami mkn malam dulu.

By 9pm, aku akan tidurkan dia. Before dia masuk tidur, aku akan suruh hubby peluk cium dia dulu sebagai signal yg now masa utk tido. So dia dah paham. Tak susah nak tidurkan dia tp kdg2 ambil masa utk pastikan dia tidur. Aku pernah gunakan kedua-dua methods tp Sears method yg aku paling suka sbb x mengganggu emosi aku. Hehe.. tak sampai hati tgk dia menangis lama-lama. Hubby je yg boleh buat camtu. Before tidur, Batrisyia akan minum susu dulu dan selepas 15 minit – 30 minit, dia sudah tidur.

Dia akan tidur hingga tgh malam. Ni anggaran aje ye.. dia akan bgn sekitar pukul 12.30 pagi, 2.30 pagi dan 4.30 pagi / 5 pagi utk disusukan. Kdg2, dia tak bgn pun pukul 2.30 pagi tu. Masa tu akan rasa sgt heaven sbb dpt tidur lama. Hehehe.. Lagipun, tak perlu nak bgn tukar diaper dia sbb dia pakai CD melainkan dia poo poo.

Aku perasan yg Batrisyia akan tidur lebih lena bila dia co-sleeping dgn kami. Maybe sbb tilam kali lebih best dan syok nak tido.. Hehe.. maybe jugak dia rasa lega bila nampak kami tatkala dia buka mata. Kalau letak kat playpen, dia akan menangis bila tak nampak kitorang. Aku tau ni sbb aku perhatikan dia. Bila nampak parents dia, dia terus senyap, minta dipeluk.

Satu lagi, dia nak dekat dgn kitorang. Kalau dlm playpen, tu mmg saja letak kepala dia kat bhgn yg dia xleh nampak katil kitorang. Bila dia terjaga, aku tgk dia akan bergerak sampai la dia sampai kat bahagian playpen yg dia boleh nmpk kitorang. Bila nampak mak ayah dia ada, dia akan menangis. Bukan keluar air mata pun. Menangis tu boleh diterjemahkan sebagai satu bahasa utk dia.

Aku berhasrat utk ajar dia tidur di bilik sendiri di usia kecil. Jgn tunggu 3-5 tahun, baru nak ajar. Susah!

So, which method you use for your child?

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6 scribble(s):

fiza said...

Salam singgah liz, fiza ladybird disini..huahaha..
Bagus info ni, ku masa dlm pantang pon mcm mu liz, tak cukup tido & tak tido pon pernah. Mcm Iman skang ni ku tak pernah plak set masa utk tido, sbd kekadang dia tido awal kekadang lewat. Lagipon ku dok ngan mak, susah sket nak set time tido, yerlah spupu ramai. Klo dah dok umah sendiri nnt bleylah buat.

Liz said...

hi fiza. haha.. ku dulu masa duduk ramai2, walaupun sepupu ramai, ku suruh anak ku pegi tido gak. tiada kompromi.

Mama-Miya a.k.a MiuMiu a.k.a "Jedi Hopeful" said...

i pernah try ferber works for miya time dia bwh 10bulan..meaning time i masih bekerja after dah bgn kenyang makan & kenyang susu, I leave her to sleep sendiri. i used this method coz i need the time to prep for the next day, kemas2 rumah or have "me-time".

tp bila i dah tak kerja, bila dia tgk i berjaga, dia pun berjaga. mmg takde disiplin dah on sleeping pattern ni..huhuhu...i pun tak kisah coz i get to spend more time with her.

on ur point pasal anak berjaga mlm to feed. Miya start sleep thru the night sejak habis pantang. its a trick yg my mom ajar, dia suh anak minum susu kenyang2 sebelum we all go to bed. so biasanye i akan tidokan anak lepas magrib...then she will wake up around 9++, main2 jap..then i akan last menyusu dia at 10++pm. i akan susukan dia sampai dia betul2 kenyang & kosong both breast. then dia akan lena til 4-5am. then bila dia mula makan, dia akan tido lebih awal & berjaga around subuh for susu. now dia camtu. maybe u can try bg anak dinner & then susukan dia til betul2 kenyang, br go to bed?

also maybe another factor yg miya tido lena thru the night would be coz we co-sleep. u guys co-sleep? i dulu konon nak follow ferber, but i decided to follow the 70s method of native parenting, they have proven anak punye brain activity become more alert & anak can bcome smarter..maybe due to the love & bonding with parents. so i decide to cos-sleep with miya.

Liz said...

mama miya> ye la, miya nmpk mama dia x tido lg. mane boleh dia tido.. ekekke..

mmg i bg susu sblm ida tido. i bg susu sampai dia terlena sndr selalunya. bila dia dah tido, dia x suck. maybe lps ni leh cuba suh dia minum jugak sampai habis. hehehe...

dulu mmg co-sleep. lps tu dia tido kat playpen. tp blk umah my mom, co-sleep. but lps kejadian jatuh katil, terus abinya serik. now blk hometown pun, kitorang tido kat lantai je.

tp akhir-akhir nie batrisyia mmg nak co-sleep. sejak bg dia nyusu baring nie, bwk je dia tido skali. dia pun mcm ok je. cuma takde space nak golek-golek. hehe.. tp kalau dia terjaga, mmg dia x nangis.maybe x takut sbb parents kat depan mata.

bagus co-sleep ni sbnrnya tp tu la, anakku buas ke time tido? dah kepong pun still leh jatuh katil.

Stephanie Liah said...

yeah,MMU Malacca :) .uhh pity lil batrisya..hope dia bleh tdo elok aftr dis,our baby sejak lahir xpernah ganggu tdo,alhamdullilah:),tdo 11pm,bgn 11am,without kacau pepagi .:)

Liz said...

stef> hehe, x kesah. dia bgn pun xpe. i mcm dah terbiasa dah. lately lg la pulak, dia bgn dlm pukul 5 pagi dan kemudian mengajak parents dia bgn awal sama.


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