Friday, June 01, 2007

Looking at the bright side.

Just went back from Ampang Hospital. Semalam pegi minta surat rujukan utk scan from klinik kesihatan. Alhamdulillah, takde janin yg tertinggal kat dalam. Kalau tak, terpaksa la 'cuci'. Erk, you know what I mean.. kan? Aku malas nak guna medic term kat sini. Nanti ada org tak paham. Ok la, dipendekkan cerita, 'cuci' nie camni la... Kata la ada janin yg tertinggal kat dlm rahim selepas berlaku keguguran, doctor kena cuci rahim tu. Kena buang lebihan janin tu. Bunyi pun dah gerun. Nasib baik la aku tak tempuh benda tu.

Doctor nasihatkan agar aku tak pregnant dlm masa 3 bulan nie. Yerp, aku mmg dah tau ttg perkara tu sejak awal. Kalau korang rajin baca benda2 nie dr buku, mesti korang dah tau. Aku mmg tau. Ni utk pastikan rahim kita cukup kuat utk menerima org baru. Plus, senang sikit doctor nak predict bila baby akan lahir. So, kena pastikan aku dah lepas 3 normal cycle of menses, baru leh cuba balik. Quite sad sbb kitorang dah x sabar nak cuba lagi sekali :(

Doctor said, kandungan yg gugur tu maybe sekitar usia 6 weeks. A little info about the fetal.

A lot is going on with your little embryo this week! Their brain is still growing remarkably fast; miniature hand plates are starting to develop and the early formations of their individual fingers are visible. The lower limbs do not develop quite as fast, so they’re pretty much still flippers. Up until this point, your baby has been very curled up with the head and tail in close proximity, but this week their trunk and neck are beginning to grow and straighten as their tail recedes into its resting position in the back. Even though your little miracle is only 6 weeks old, they’re already demonstrating reflex responses to touch!

I'm doing just fine. My hubby pun ok je. Cuma kdg2 sedih la gak bila teringat ttg hal nie. Sebak! 2 days ago, he said to me, "Macam mana la rupa dia agaknya ye? Mesti abang nangis kalau tgk muka dia". Damn, aku dah nangis dah time tu. Dia pun sebak semacam. "He or she will look just like you!" Tu je aku mampu jawab.

Just look at the bright side. Tu yg aku dgn dia cuba tanamkan dalam hati sekarang nie. Doctor pun nasihatkan perkara yg sama. Yer la, setiap perkara yg berlaku dlm hidup kita, mesti ada hikmah disebaliknya. Maybe kalau janin tu terus membesar, dia cacat ke.. ada komplikasi di kemudian hari ke. Mana la tau kalau dia berjaya lahir ke muka bumi, dia jadi anak derhaka ke.. org jahat ke.. ada sakit kronik ke.. Kita tak tau semua tu. Apa yg Tuhan tentukan utk kita, mesti bersebab. Dia takkan bagi dugaan kalau kita tak mampu nak hadapi dugaan tu.

Monday, May 28, 2007

It's been a while...

Selama nie, my period time mmg on time. Kalau lewat pun, lewat 5 hari je. Tak kurang, tak jugak lebih. So bila aku dah terlewat seminggu, aku tergerak utk test for pregnancy.

It was positive. Adik ipar aku jd saksi. Bkn ape. Mcm tak caye bila nampak 2 red lines kat pregnancy test tu. So tanya la dia. Minta mata dia tgk. Dia ckp, positive. I was so happy. Aizat lagi la. Dia sgt happy and mula bercakap dgn 'baby' kat dlm perut. Agak kelakar!

But then, 3 days later, aku dtg period. Aku mcm rileks lagi sbb mmg ada sesetengah perempuan, dia still dtg period on the first month of pregnancy. Ingat nak cuba check dgn doctor on that weekend. But, 2 days later, ada mcm gumpalan keluar. Gumpalan yg agak kurang normal bg aku sbb tak pernah gumpalan mcm tu keluar dr badan aku. Selang sehari, ada lg gumpalan yg keluar.

Hari nie, aku pergi check dgn doctor. Aku bwk sekali catatan tarikh period aku sepanjang 2007. Doctor teliti semua tarikh tu. Dia ckp, aku maybe keguguran. She asked me to take another test. This time, disahkan aku tak mengandung. Maknanya aku dah keguguran.

Tuhan je yg tahu betapa sedihnya dlm hati nie. Yer la, masa aku tgk gumpalan tu, aku mmg dah rasa tak sedap hati. Terfikir jugak yg aku maybe dah keguguran. Tp masa tu cuba sedapkan hati. Rasa mcm takpe la kalau gugur pun sbb tak sampai sebulan. Baru jd segumpal darah.

Tapi bila dah tau hakikat sebenar yg aku mmg mengandung and now dah gugur, air mata nie tak henti mengalir. Sebak rasa hati nie bila doctor pegang tgn aku and ckp, "Awak jgn la risau". Dia boleh dikatakan dah jd doctor keluarga Aizat. So aku tau dia betul-betul simpati dgn aku.

Bila aku bgtau Aizat, dia pun nak nangis. Dia pun mcm aku. Selama nie mcm tak kesah sgt. Tapi bila dpt berita nie, dia rasa nak nangis tp dia tahan air mata tu drpd tumpah.

Maaf, aku tak mampu nak teruskan catatan nie. Rasa mata dah mula berair.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Red light

I'm period!

It's ok.. :)

Thursday, January 25, 2007

3 more positive signs

Ok.. so I got another signs.

-Fullness and bloating.
-Breast fullness or tenderness.
-AND no menstrual period.

But tu tak bermaksud aku pregnant kan? Kdg-kdg my period mmg lambat. Paling lama pun, lewat 5 hari. Today baru lewat 4 hari. Kena tunggu sampai Sabtu la. Kalau tak jugak datang, boleh jumpa doctor next week.

Some of you might think, "Kenapa tak check guna pregnancy test je?" You see, PT elok digunakan seawal 10 hari lps missed period. Boleh la cuba awal-awal tp keberkesanannya tidak dijamin. So why waste your money and buat otak separuh giler bile tgk ada one red line je kan? Hehe..

Aku tak la desperate nak getting pregnant tp kalau dpt cepat, lagi bagus. Now rasa berdebar je nak tunggu samada aku period ke tak.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Early signs of pregnancy

I had a light headache since yesterday and it drives me crazy! Sekejap pening, sekejap tak. Duhh, susah nak buat kerja.

Maybe pening sbb byk mkn seafood last week (tp tu last week). Maybe juga sbb my thyroid 'memberontak'. Or maybe it's the early sign that I'm pregnant (as usual, tu pendapat my hubby).

Ok, let's see..

There're 14 early signs of pregnancy.

-No menstrual period
-Fullness, bloating, aching in abdominal area, some women mistake this for PMS
-Implantation bleeding or spotting, generally occurs a few days before a missed period
-Positive home pregnancy test
-Constipation
-Fatigue and sleepiness
-Breast fullness or tenderness , darkened areolas
-Weight gain (only 1 kg)
-Frequent urination
-Increased vaginal secretions
-Aversion to certain foods or odors
-Nausea or vomitting
-Headache
-Mood swings

Yg italic tu, aku dah dapat. But tak semestinya aku pregnant tp tu pun sign utk period gak kan?

God, please help us.
Period, please don't come.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

It's funny when..

Aku masih ingat, dia beri cadangan agar kami cuba dapatkan anak selepas setahun berkahwin. Aku pulak, kalau boleh nak dpt anak secepat mungkin. Masa tu diam je la bile dia ckp camtu. Nak protes tp aku fikir, "Biar la dulu.. lepas kahwin nanti, mesti dia ubah fikiran".

I was right! Hehehe.. Now, dia lak yg terlalu excited ttg hal nie.

Bila letih sikit je, dia akan ckp.. "Abang tgk Aliza asyik letih je skrg. Tu tanda tu".

Bila aku asyik ajak pegi check samada kedai Kepak Ayam Madu kat Pudu tu buka atau tak (sbb manjang tutup je, x dpt aku mkn), dia mula la senyum and ckp, "Beriye sgt nak mkn kepak tu nape? Ngidam eh?".

Bila aku mkn laksa kedah and dia mkn rojak buah, dia bg aku mkn mangga, "Makan la. Anak abg nak mkn mangga tu".

Urghh, see... over-excited pulak cik abang nie. Itu aku belum pregnant lagi. Kalau betul-betul pregnant nanti, camne la dia nye perangai pulak. Kelakar tau bila dia buat perangai camtu.

Hubby, I love you so much!
 

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